PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL

i was discharged from hospital today after 2 days, i was in there for a break and to get some much needed rest from the bullying that occurs at home. things seem to be better at home, i am just going to take it easy for the next few days.

screaming yet no-one hears me

i crashed last night after all the stress i'm suffering at the moment just pushed me over the limit. i'm dealing with horrible housemates and others who live at the "ROCKET" programme in St Albans in vic. it's run by the western region health centre and is a psychosocial re-hab programme with 4 units one for the girls, and 2 for the boys and then a staff unit. when ever there are outings that take place for example we might go to doncaster or the beach for an outing and if i say yes i'd like to go, the others then say well if Jess is going then i'm not and then it turns out to be me who is the only one who goes.

then when it comes to sharing with the girls i'm sharing with, i'm not allowed to go into the kitchen when they are in there ect and they cook for each other and leave me out of everything. which really hurts me as i don't cope with rejection well at all because of my borderline personality disorder. i can only take so much bullying and the staff do not intervene as they say i need to learn how to cope with it. then nearly every night one housemate will turn her music up full blast at 12am to wake me and won't turn it off until around 3am

his is the stress i have to suffer all the time

trying to soldier on

i'm so depressed coz i can't do anything right by my housemates, i went in to anaphylaxis shock last night, they called the ambulance, after i used my epi pen, the ambos said it had worked and i would be fine but i still needed to go to hospital, then when i was at the hospital i get bombarded with phone calls and txts saying i faked the whole thing and that i was a lier ect. i serious don't know what to do? i'm trying very hard to not let it affect me but when it keeps going on and on it gets very hard. i'm trying very hard to move out and get a place of my own but as you all know it takes time. i feel so down in the dumps and i'm at a loss as to how i can get on with the 2 of them not to be friends but just so its at least civil in the house

Rejection

Today i feel rejected and lonely. my housemates are completely ignoring me and blaming me for something i didn't even do. not to mention they are having dinner together and i wasn't invited to that as well. i don't know what i can do to make myself liked? i'm on the phone to the CATT team and they are of no hope all they are saying is go to the hospital and see some-one there but i'm not going to be waiting 9 hours to talk to some-one. i feel like i'm screaming in a crowded room screaming yet no-one looks up. wish i was accepted by at least 1 person???